Help me write the book that will change your life.

posted in: Mind Tools, Shop Manual for Men | 7

Because I need your help, would you do me a huge favor?

I’m writing a book that will help restore men by giving them the tools to manliness. Some of these I’ll be covering in the Mind Tools category to the right, but I need your input.

Tell me what you struggled with, what you wished someone would have told you when you were 18, what you still wish you knew and understood even right now.

As always, this website is for you. Your comments and questions are always welcome.

7 Responses

  1. Jeff Wood

    Afternoon, fellow Jeff.

    The obvious point, which you are well qualified to make and which I am sure will have a chapter in your book, is to be mentally flexible and have a decent range of skills, even if none are presently at a high level.

    You make this argument in “Build your Skill Set”. Apart from “Don’t waste years and accumulate massive debt in pursuit of a useless degree” that is the single most useful advice you can offer a young man – or woman for that matter.

    Followed your shameless self-promotion at Vox’s place. Best wishes for the Blog, and of course the Book.

    • Thanks Jeff. Appreciate the feedback. What part of the UK are you in? My forbears are from the Nottingham area.

  2. As I said on another post, I wish someone had taught me to be persuasive. I have three or five uncles in sales and my grandfather was an executive. Lots of skills I wish they’d passed on.

    And I wish I knew more about plumbing and wiring.

    • More to come on plumbing and electrical. For now, a plumbing quote from dad, “shit always runs downhill, and Friday is payday”.

  3. I’ve just visited your blog from Vox Popoli, and I am very impressed. I wish you the best on this project, and I would be very pleased to read it.

    My father passed away in 2011 in a car accident (I was 23), and I married my lovely bride in 2014. Now, while thinking about having children, I have been reflecting on what he gave me and where I think he could have improved.

    I am convinced there was a fundamental absence of direction in the way I was raised, and I also think this was common in my generation and perhaps going back a couple of previous generations. The absence is this: Many fathers don’t have a basic drive to pass down a heritage to their sons, a family identity.

    I think he provided me with the most important things, an unquestionable love and a stable, happy childhood, but he didn’t make any strong efforts to pass down his skills, his trade, or his beliefs, and I think each of those left something missing in my life.

    If I could espouse any one topic on manliness, it would be to instill that drive to pass on an identity to a son. Young men should be thinking early on about what kind of heritage they can give to their children, what knowledge, what skills, what values that will accompany them and bless them for their entire lives. Ever since I have come to this conclusion, it has been a powerful drive for me to improve my life so that I have something truly valuable to pass down.

    That said, my Dad was very manly, and he did give me and my brother the most important blessing. For both of us sons, when we started attending a church and learning about the Bible in our late teens, we recognized the God that Jesus taught was his Father and ours. It made perfect sense to us that there was a heavenly Father who watched over and cared for his children; that was the kind of family we had on earth.

    • Farnswords, I very much appreciate the feedback and your personal journey. I believe you are right that this is a problem going back a number of generations. While my dad modeled many masculine traits and leadership in the home, there was no explicit training for us kids. Even in the 60’s and 70’s I was picking up the culture of feminism and “fairness”, which was contrary to what I saw in my dad, and being a teen I rejected his examples. In my 40’s and 50’s I became aware of “red pill” thinking and have tried to pass that on to my son who also just married.

      I believe that deep down, most men want to be men, and simply don’t know the way, or are afraid of the backlash. I think that in the early stages, doing is as important as understanding. Getting men and boys involved in some kind of masculine behavior helps set a path or foundation on which to teach them specifics. I envision a sort of “Man’s Shop Manual for Life” with standalone sections covering the basics with more emphasis on what to do, and how to do rather than theory. Why it works is less important at that stage, and there are plenty of resources out there on the “why it works”.

      To one extent or another men and boys are natural fixers, builders, explorers and fighters. The more we can promote one or more of those activities, the more in touch with their true selves they will become.

  4. Joseph Salamone

    My Father taught me many things by example. It took awhile for the things he told me to sink in. He said life experiences will be a great teacher.
    Here are a few things he said.
    1. “Don’t Major in Minor things.” This is a tough one because there are endless distractions all around us that can suck up your life.
    2. “Date women that are smart because you don’t want your kids to have a stupid Mother.
    3. “Teach young children the value of reading.” You can then educate yourself
    for the rest of your life.
    4. “Everyone has a story to tell.” Try to listen.
    5. “Old soldiers deserve your respect.” You have no idea what they have been through.
    6. “Don’t forget about God.” He hasn’t forgotten about you.
    7. “Old men are like old dogs, they become invisible to most”. Make a point to
    acknowledge them. They will be grateful.
    8. “Take responsibility for your actions.”
    9. “Always try to get at the truth.” Learn to deal with reality. It may be quite
    different than public opinion.
    10. “Read about our Founding Father’s.” Read who inspired them.
    11. “Be a Protector of women and children.”
    12. “Don’t ever stop learning.” Life is hard when you are ignorant.
    13. “Protect your honor and your name”.

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