What does it mean to be a man?

posted in: Mind Tools, Shop Manual for Men | 3

When I was little,like five to eight years old, I would find a screwdriver and take apart some of my toys. Sometimes I would even get them put back together again. Once, when I was five, I painted my tricycle with a can of house paint. Right behind my backyard a new subdivision was being built, and for awhile all there were only streets with storm drains. We would crawl around in the totally dark storm drains making them our forts. Later we would play in half constructed houses.

There were creeks too, which would wander through neighborhoods and we would walk in the water overturning rocks looking for crawdads. We would play outside in lightning storms too. My best friend and I loved the thrill of nearby lightning strikes. Then of course there would be war with little soldiers, or cowboys and Indians, blowing up model cars with firecrackers, and bottle rocket duels. My God, I even rode a bike without a helmet.

Today, all we hear is “grow up”, “stop acting like a kid”. Society, and by that I mean the feminist mindset, puts men in a tight little box where many are afraid to get crap for even sticking one finger outside of that box. Other men have a feminist Stockholm syndrome where they are eager to please their captors and have completely forgotten they are prisoners, yet deep down they know they are not free. What is it about you that the feminist fears so much that they need to keep you in a box? It’s leadership. They want to be in charge.

Grow up! Act your age.

Why do they say that? They don’t want you to remember the difference in the sexes, and that even as children, boys are the natural leaders over girls. It’s not about being childish. Their fear is that you will rediscover your true self, and they will lose control. Feminists say there is no difference between men and women, yet looking at how children play, without the external influences of the adults, you can clearly see a difference. Boys will gravitate to a different kind of play that is riskier and more aggressive than what the girls do.

Male default settings.

When your smartphone or computer is totally jacked up, you always have the last option of returning to the default settings to fix it. What are the male default settings? And how do you reset yourself to purge out those feminists settings that have been brainwashed into you?

Boys are builders and fixers.

Who built the tree houses and forts? Who builds the Lego race cars and rocket ships? Who fixes the slipped bicycle chains? If you say girls do too, those girls are the exception and not the rule. Over the centuries, who has built great buildings? Who has designed the great bridges? Who made the trains, the cars, the airplanes, the rockets? Who made the medicines, the refrigerators, and radios and televisions? Who made the generators and electrical grids it all runs on? Who made the great works of art and music? Women? A few.

Default Setting: if you are not already building and fixing, then you need to start. Start small, start anywhere. By a model kit, get some Legos. Take a shop class of some kind. Many high schools, technical schools and community colleges have evening classes for wood working, auto repair, basic electrical or welding.  You have to get back to your childhood default setting. Men get satisfaction and a sense of accomplishment from fixing or building things.

Boys are explorers.

When I was little, I always wanted to see what was on the next street, and then the next one after that. My bike was a ship to a new world. By the time I was a teenager, I was regularly riding twenty or more miles a day riding in and out of suburbs all around Kansas City. I was exploring the world, and it was fun and exciting. Who explored the New World? Who opened up the trade routes to China and the Americas? Who explored the American interior from coast to coast? Who around 600 BC went from the Mediterranean Sea to America and then hundreds of miles up the Mississippi leaving stone markers? Who explored the skies in airplanes? Who explored space? Women? A few maybe.

Default Setting: if you are not already exploring, then you need to start. There are countless way to do this. Hike a nearby park. Get a couple hundred dollars, jump in the car without a map and start driving, but stay off the Interstate. Take county roads and State highways. Find out what’s on the other side of that hill. Explore people. Make a point to find a meet new people. Explore art, architecture, music. Explore a new sport. If you can afford it, get a passport and explore other countries. You can even explore yourself and find out what you can and cannot do, you will be surprised.

Boys are risk takers.

Did you notice something about all the building, fixing and exploring? It’s risky. There is sometimes danger of failure, danger of loss, and danger of physical harm, even death. Taking risks is healthy, avoiding risks is unhealthy. Taking risks uncovers both strengths and weaknesses. You need to know both in order to manage risks, and that is the key. Instead of avoiding risks, learn to manage them.

Test pilots fly brand new aircraft designs. The designer hope the plane will fly based on tests and sound aeronautical science, but they aren’t the ones who actually fly the first plane of that new design. A highly experienced test pilot will do that. Sounds very risky and life threatening, but is it really. Test pilots do exactly that; they test the plane. They have lengthy detailed checklists and specific tests to run. The very first thing the test pilot does is a taxi down the runway. He doesn’t even get into the air. If the plane taxis well and passes that test, the pilot will briefly get airborne. If those tests pass, he will take longer higher tests and greater speeds. Then he will do basic maneuvers to see how the plane performs. It’s not unusual to uncover problems that require some engineering tweaks to the airframe.

Pushing the envelope.

At a certain point after the plane has passed all the routine tests, the pilot will do what is called “pushing the design envelope”. He will start operating the plane past it’s design specifications to the point of failure. How high will the plan go? He finds out. What are the maximum g forces the plane will take in a high g turn? Will the wings break? He tries it. How easy is it to recover from a stall and spin? An engine flame out? He takes dangerous, but calculated incremental risks to test the limits of the plane. The risks he takes are not stupid risks. They are well thought out and planned, along with an exit plan if things go badly. The risks of the test plan are layered. The test pilot doesn’t try a bunch of risky stuff all at once. The planned, layered, methodical risks reduce the danger to him while certifying the plane for flight.

Risk management is fear management. There is a saying from the movie “Dune” that “fear is the great mind killer”. Risk management is all about identifying possible risks and having an action plan in case that risk happens. Risk management also categorizes risk in likeliness. How likely is X going to happen. If it’s not very likely, then you don’t spend much time on designing a response for it. Instead you focus on how you will respond to the likely risks.

Default setting: if you are not taking some risks, then you need to start. Start small, started planned, but just start. Take some risks by taking a martial arts class. Take some risks by talking to a pretty girl. If you are a six in appearance, approach a girl who is an eight. Take a class in rappelling off buildings. Learn to ride a motorcycle. Sky dive. Start a side business. Volunteer to do something new and different at work. Learn to speak in public. Take a dance class. Join a softball team even if you aren’t very good. Push your envelope, and then keep pushing.

Be a leader.

A leader is just a guy who is out in front doing things most others are afraid to do. If you are building and fixing things, exploring ideas, places and people, and taking managed risks, you are already acting like a leader. That’s what leader do, they build, explore and take risks. When you see a group of boys playing you see a hierarchy naturally form. One or two boys come up with an idea to do something fun or risky. A few more follow because they are willing to take risks and want to explore too. Then the rest follow. Maybe one or two will stay behind out of fear. Great leaders start out as great followers. They know the hierarchy. They follow someone and they lead others. The better you are, the higher you go, but all of you are leaders to someone.

Men are leaders, builders, fixers, explorers and risk takers. Are you?

3 Responses

  1. Awesome article. It shows a grounding in reality that defies the feminization of Western culture. Feminizing our boys has been the most destructive element in Western decline. I am going to use your message with the young men I counsel. This is important.


    • Thanks FAL Phil. I wish I had access to this info when I was young. I really think there is a need for a basic primer for young men so they don’t have to learn the hard way, or never at all.

  2. This is a test.

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